I was on the golf course recently and got paired with a couple of guys who talked non-stop about the ups and downs of modern dating. Both of them frequently used several dating apps with mixed results. They each had positive stories to share despite what sounded like a lot of negative complaints about the apps themselves.
I kept to myself and tried to concentrate on my golf game, but when they started talking about photos, I couldn’t help but take some mental notes and offer some advice. They appreciated my perspective as a professional photographer. Here’s what I suggested to these two members of the lonely hearts club.
Nice Drive
You’ve arrived for your tee-time, the starter gave you the go-ahead and you’ve smashed a drive right down the middle of the first hole which impresses your playing partners. This is the dating profile equivalent of getting a thumbs up on your main profile photo from a prospective match. Your first impression says a lot about you, and you never get a second chance to make a first impression.
PHOTO MUST-HAVE: Headshot
A professional headshot is the starting point to any good dating profile. If you don’t have one you’re doomed. It’s the first thing any prospective match sees and it gives them a reason to look deeper into your gallery.
Clutch Putt
No golfer ever won a match, or shot a great score, with just a driver. You have to be able to putt, too. On the golf course the goal is to drive for show and make putts to win the dough. If your headshot has attracted some attention, the next must-have photo will press your advantage now so you can cash in later.
PHOTO MUST-HAVE: Full Body Shot
A flattering full-body shot lets potential matches know you’re comfortable in your own skin and you’re ready to share the full you with a partner. Remember, online dating is a visual game first and foremost. If you want to play the game, you have to put yourself on a level playing field with everyone else by including a full body shot. It’s like keeping an official USGA handicap. Your playing partners need to know what yours is, so you can play a fair game.
Bonus Advice: Golf isn’t a team sport and neither is online dating. Don’t make the mistake of using a full body shot of you standing in a group with your friends.
Fairways and Greens
In golf, as in love and online dating, mastering the basics is one thing but going low is all about consistency. You might be able to get lucky on one hole, but can you repeat it 18 times? If you hit enough fairways and greens and have a reliable swing that will get you relatively unscathed through a course, your score will reflect your solid and consistent ball striking. In dating, having the basic photos covered is kind of like improving your fairways/greens in regulation stats. You’ll start to card lower scores, and you’ll become a better companion and get more invites to get together and play.
PHOTO NEED: Lifestyle Image(s)
When done right, this batch of 2 – 4 photos really show matches who you are. What makes you interesting, what hobbies you have, what you like to do, and gives your matches some context. Your goal is to get them drooling for more and clicking over to your “About Me” section. Lifestyle images will show you in action during your everyday life.
Examples might include participating in your favorite hobby/passion such as fishing or golfing, working on a classic car or going for a motorcycle ride, or doing some rock climbing. Lifestyle images should be conversation starters. They should give someone a reason to be curious, and want to connect. Make sure they show you at your best. Like a headshot and a full body shot, these are all images that can be captured in a session with a professional photographer.
How
Now you know what kinds of photos are must-haves. Here’s how to, and how not, to get them.
Don’t Do This
Guys, tell me if this sounds familiar. You’re filling out your dating profile in your app of choice. You scroll through your recent photos and can’t find anything suitable. You decide to take a few selfies.
Honestly, bad idea.
Or you make a point to prod your group of friends to snap a couple pics the next time you’re on the course, at the bar or at a party without telling them what they’re for.
Not much of an improvement.
Or you dig deep into the archives for a favorite shot from college.
Don’t do it.
A work ID picture?
Unnhh nuhh.
Senior portrait??
NOOOOO!
Or you wait for months (years?) to go by while hoping at some point you’ll be in the right place at the right time when someone has a camera and you get lucky with a usable photo.
These are all horrible strategies.
Do This
You’re putting in the time at the gym. You’re reading a lot, seeing a lot of movies, subscribing to a newspaper, working on your golf game …. being the best version of you. You’ve been told that one day when you’re doing the things you love, the right one will come along when you’re least expecting it. But meeting someone in real life is hard.
If you’re supplementing your chance encounters, or your IRL flirting, with online dating, then you can’t half-ass it. You need professional photos. When all the other online profiles are filled with bathroom mirror selfies it’s easy to stand out with professional photos.
It’s time to invest in some quality photos. A professional photographer can help you feel comfortable on camera, coach you on good poses, help with wardrobe selection and capture you in places and in environments where you’re happy being you. This is the best way to get authentic, natural photos. Whether you’re happiest when you’re on your sailboat, or perpetually smiling while you’re grilling up a steak, a professional photographer is your best sidekick (wingman?)
I’m ready to meet you at the trailhead, follow you for a few holes during your next round of golf, or meet you at your workshop so that we can photograph you being you. While I’m there, we can get that stunning head shot, strike the perfect full body pose and score a great batch of lifestyle images to fill out your online dating profile. Get in touch to schedule a session with me today!
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